Saturday, July 18, 2015

Story of my life....

19 years ago while handing me over to my mom for the first time, the doctors confirmed I was a girl. I totally believed in my birth certificate when I read it.

But gradually as I grew up, I realized the different sub categories in it, “the girly one”, “the tom boyish one”. 1st it was the race between over a million sperms that I had to win, then take a decision about which chromosome to choose, and now you tell me that the whole grind isn’t over yet!! To make it worse, this time there were no defined steps for the category.

Probably it was because of the cropped hairstyle I had, or the instinct to fight, I don’t know, but I was gradually tagged as boyish. The whole respect for the medical fraternity shattered in front of my eyes. I sweared to never trust a doctor.

Pretty cool with the tag, I lived to all the glories of it. Sweat shirts and tracks were my favorites, bunking school and playing cricket all day long was a bliss. Being surrounded by only guys I grew up to talk, walk and think like them.

When all was going fine, suddenly puberty had to strike. It had to create a difference between us. It did not do quite a favour to me, and all throughout I couldn’t relate myself with any of my friends. The hormones, the emotions, nothing was even close to similar.

So now, suddenly I had to be brought back to, from where I started, being a girl. My friends remained same, the way I spoke to them was same, but our bodies were visibly different and the way we were treated was not even close to being similar. We did not fight any more, because apparently boys are prohibited to hit girls. Made things easier for me, but at the same time, some things became tougher. We did not enjoy the same freedom anymore. Fighting all these changes and coping up with the ones I lost the fight with, I was soon tagged to be a “girl who only hangs out with the guys”. And that, was bad news.

What now?? You want me to have girl friends. Mingle with the ones whom, years earlier you said weren’t my type. What do you want next? Graduate from school, and be married off?

Well no matter what puberty did, my age definitely made me matured and gave me permission to think by myself, the luxury that some people definitely missed.

The concepts were very clear now. To survive, I needed food, water, clothes and shelter. The type of food I eat, or the clothes I wear are completely my choice. I have enough faith in me, that I am not going to let myself starve to death, and also not marry to feed myself. Yes, I definitely need people around me to survive but, then again that is something I decide. I was a girl 19 years ago and I will be one for the 90 more to come. No matter what happens, nothing can change that. As long as sexual orientation doesn’t play a role in the work, I can do whatever any other person can. It’s only a matter of individual choice.
















 A simple rule of physics says, that substance should have matter to make an impact, and what people think, definitely doesn’t fall into that category.

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